Crawling
by Saiyura
Summary: Why must you leave me? After all I've done for you? You now find me an inconvenience! After I am nearly dead-died nearly a handful of times to protect you- you leave me crawling after you! WE'RE NAKAMA! Zoro POV (on hold)
1. Chapter 1

Hey everyone. This is just something that came to me after I started dragging myself threw the mud on how horrible I did on one of my test! And a song that I was listening to by LP "in the end" so, hope you enjoy it cause I needed to write it down before it dragged me down farther.

**Revised**

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I can't stand you leaving me to die alone, withering in pain caused by injuries I gained when I fought for you. Now I have nothing but fear as the time falls from my grasp with each haggled breath I take crawling towards your back.

How is it that I am dying and you walk away without turning your head to look at me? Why must you abandon me after how much we've been through? Why must I die when you have no wounds of the battle that I fought in your stead? Why must I suffer when I lost a battle?

Is it due to the fact I lost? I broke our promise to never lose again? Please stop walking away from me, don't abandon me for something I fought for something I did and lost for! I trusted you. You can't just leave me here to die in a mess that you caused!

I have given you my life countless times and when I am useless you decide I no longer and your friend! WHY!!! Why must I suffer for you why must I lose my life my own promises... MY DREAM for you!

If you do not kill me, then I will come to kill you. If you think I'll let you betray me so easily.

I may be near death, but how many times have I always come back for you! TO PROTECT YOU!

Don't leave me... don't leave me to die... are we not friend? Are we not crew mates working towards your goal?!

YOU were the one who brought me here why must you... why have I followed you so blindly if I must die in your defense... die due to your negligence.

KILL ME WITH YOUR OWN HAND! Don't look down on me as if I am nothing, as if I was never worthy of your power... I was you friend! I was your first mate! IF I AM TO DIE THEN KILL ME!

Don't walk away... Don't leave me alone... I don't want to be alone again... after I finally found you... Nakama...

YOU'RE MY NAKAMA!


	2. Chapter 2

Sorry it took me a while to finish this but I could not find any inspiration until I found Rise Against.

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I never thought I would be broken as I am now. Looking at the sea rocking back and forth on a ship I refused to call my home. It had been countless days since I had awoken to realize I was nothing to Luffy anymore: that I was just another pawn to him and this crew.

He used my blades and I let him. Without warning he turned my own beloved swords against me and sliced out my heart, turning what I was into something that would never be able to stand again.

I was broken more on the inside then these scars that littered my body from the fights I had over the expanse of 'our' trip.

How foolish of me to think I could trust him, any of them, as much as I did before. Yet, in some form or way I still desired to be foolish and naive and let them in, to be manipulated as if I was some art work that needed fine tuning.

How was it that even after his betrayal I desired to call him my 'captain' and my 'equal', I would have never left my nakama to such a fate, fate of condemnation to suffer worse than hell that I was forced to suffer now that I was stuck with him.

"Zoro." I never answered them when they wanted to talk to me, I feared them more than I ever thought I would. My crew- my nakama- were the ones who I knew I would never trust again and I knew in that moment that I was trapped on this ship to suffer for the rest of who knew how long they would allow me to live. "Zoro… please." I barely recognized Nami's voice as I stared out the breaking dawn light hitting the waves.

I knew what she was concerned with, I was dying-though I already knew I was dead- and I owed her money. She wanted it before I died. I didn't mind ignoring her but I also knew that I had to repay her after all it would be horrible if I didn't do that, it would have gone against my better judgment.

'I am not a swordsman,' I sarcastically said in my mind as I looked at Shuusui, Wado, and Kitetsu at my side, untouched and unsheathed since I woke up on this ship.

"Shitty swordsman." I barely recognized my bitter laugh at the cook's words but I didn't rise to the banter but I returned my gaze out onto the water.

I wasn't a swordsman anymore, why would they not realize that. I no longer cared for my life, after all they seemed to consider me worthless and good enough to use as some sort of bait to flea and be saved by 'Luffy'.

I don't know how long it took for me to realize that they had left me alone but when I glanced to where they stood I only saw 'Him' looking at me with a blank face. It bothered me to look at him and I felt the sudden urge to be submissive as if that it what he wanted me to do. I barely blinked before I saw Sanji looking at me as he walked over to Luffy's side. He looked ill- it was the first thing I noticed about him- and he seemed pissed off at Luffy as he pointed at me several times until…

I wanted to turn away quickly as I saw Luffy glare at me until Sanji backed down. I knew then that I still meant nothing to him. Whatever he wanted from me he would soon have it for I knew my hunger strike and the lack of water over the few days.

I was at my end and I knew it wouldn't take long or much to snap me in half. I felt something more inside of me snap as I looked at the sea.

'Only solace.' I thought before my vision swam and I felt something blunt hit my head as I keeled over in exhaustion. 'I don't want to live anymore as some tool or object to be used and thrown away.'

"He's no good to us if he's like this." Luffy's voice sounded raw to my ears before I heard Nami flustered in her words.

"What is wrong with you Luffy! Zoro's out nakama, how can you treat him like this!" I tried to pull any strength I had to listen more to this conversation only to be cut short with Luffy's hard hearted words, "He never was our Nakama." It pulled at the wounds that I had worked so hard to forget about, gouging them with a sharp burning cut. How could… what did I do to deserve this!

"Luffy!" Sanji 's one word made me cringe as it implicated that Luffy was the criminal not me.

"It doesn't matter." I said in a whisper barely heard even to my ears but it was obviously loud enough for them to hear. "Doesn't matter anymore." I lulled off again before I woke up to the cold of night feeling my skin tight across my exposed arms.

Hr

"Get off my ship Zoro." My eyes snapped open to look straight into the dark, brooding eyes of my… no he was no longer my captain and I his first mate… Luffy's eyes. "Get off my ship now." I didn't feel anything as I looked at him, trying to figure out what he was saying to me, what he was telling me to do… I couldn't understand his words. "That is my last orders to you as your captain Roronoa Zoro, get off my ship and don't you dare come back."

It was the order that made it snap into my mind that it was my final time to leave. I nodded, letting him know that I finally understood his meaning, and quickly got to my feet clumsily thrashing around at first as nausea over came my senses before it settled over a few minutes.

"Aye, Cap'n." I slurred out exhaustedly before I left to see that the waves thrashing, almost greedily to receive my already hollowed body. I felt my legs climb the wood as I lifted myself to look down out against the growing storm.

"Jump that is an order." I heard him before I nodded once again, feeling the move not knowing what it said.

"ZORO!" I jerked forward before I caught my balance at the last second, I turned around to look at Sanji and the rest of the crew looking at me mortified. "Don't!" it was a second to late as I glanced at Luffy and saw the smallest nod that was all I need to know to keep moving, to do as I was first told to do.

So I followed my captain's orders, albeit sadly, and took the last step off the ship. 'To the waves, I give what I no longer have.' I said before I was swallowed tossed and turned around under the water.

It didn't take long before I swallowed the water and felt the little bit of my life vanish from my body and I felt all that I had left gone.

I finally was free from them all, the cold stabbing pain of betrayal and knowing I was nothing to those I viewed for so long as my nakama.

'Into the ocean that waves shown emotion to all disasters. Free from the pain that destroy my own heart.'


	3. Truth within our hearts

Okay I was blackmailed into this! And... as I wrote this I realized... it HAS to be longer in chapters! So... hope you guys want to review... AND YOU BETTER... for each chappy I put up. Luffy Zoro romance!

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I have been blackmailed into writing some more into this story and as I was reading over the last chapters I felt extremely sorry for what I did and how I portrayed Luffy san… so… here you all go.

Luffy blinked as he watched Zoro jump over board and refused to surface. His mind, slowing down to a nearly halted paralyzing stop, blinked several times while Sanji rushed over to the stern of the deck before nearly jumping in to save Zoro… or his body, Luffy thought, when his mind registered a little bit more of the situation.

He just killed his nakama, his first mate, and… he killed Zoro's dream because of something that he allowed to bother him so deeply. What was he doing? What was it in the first place that allowed him to lose all of his senses?

A flash of a man, devil fruit user, had challenged him stating before their fight that even if the man lost the one Luffy cherished the most out of all of his crew would be the one Luffy would kill with his own actions one day soon. Shaking his head Luffy's arms dropped to his side before hearing Nami and Robin's screaming voice in directions to the frantic crew.

Could it be-? No… no he didn't… Could he have actually killed his own friend due to something another person had done to him? He knew some fruits could control others but…

"Zoro…" Luffy weakly called out turning his head slowly to look out where a rope was being thrown over the railing and to the crew. "No… no… Zoro-!" tears streamed down his face as the storm began to hit them from all four sides.

"You did this Luffy!" Nami's voice was angered and filled with worry as she pulled at a rope that Luffy didn't take in right away; Sanji was on the other end… Sanji had Zoro… Zoro…

"ZORO!" Luffy rushed forward gripping the rope and pulling with every bit strength he had. "No.. NO… NO!" he screamed in a repeating pattern wanting to know he didn't kill someone he truly loved, he thought of as the first and best friend he would hold dear to himself.

The crew watched as Luffy kept crying trying to pull Sanji up before two wet figures fell over the side of the bow and landed on the wooden soggy planks. Sanji gasped, two arms tightly wrapped around Zoro's waist and gripped against the fabric of his pants. Slowly the crew, except Luffy, gathered around checking to make sure both was alive even as the relentless rain smashed into their pale worried bodies.

Luffy held his breath turning his face away from looking at them all and he paused two times before he realized… He had caused his crew such horrible pain since his fight and the horrible wounds that Zoro suffered.

"I'm sorry…" the crew looked back watching Luffy collapse holding his hands against his eyes. "I'm sorry… Zoro!" slowly the crew realized that their Luffy had returned… returned after he killed his first mate.

Sanji shifted, no one realized, as he shivered and looked at the unmoving chest of Zoro's. He felt panicked as he shifted Zoro onto his back, straddling his hips, and began CPR in hopes that he could save the shitty first mate.

"Nami I need you to breath for him." He didn't feel like losing the swordsman and if Nami could help him, his Nami swan kissing him!, then that would be fantastic.

"Of course, Sanji kun." Nami began mouth to mouth every time Sanji told her too while Chopper brought out a few dozen blanket so as to warm Zoro up when he began breathing again on his own.

Time ticked by slowly as Zoro still did not breath almost as if he was not desiring to be brought back to life. Luffy, feeling horrible, slowly walked over tears still streaming down his face, and his whispered words grew slightly louder, "Don't die, Zoro, please… don't die…"

Chopper, tears also coming down his face like the rest of the crew, as he stated from his medical knowledge that Zoro was already far past saving now.

Luffy had refused to leave Zoro's side as he watched the unmoving and dead face and body of Zoro in a room they emptied for his corpse while they figured out what to do with it. The three treasured swords, Wado higher than the rest, were waiting with their master to be put to rest also.

"I'm sorry, Zoro." Luffy cried out once again in the last day. "I'm sorry, I … I'm such a horrible Nakama to kill you… I… I allowed whatever it was to bother me so much… What have I done? Why… why…" he bent over staring at the nearly sleeping looking face. "Why was it you out of them all?" he continued to stare out into the never again opening dark emerald eyes. "Why was it you?"

Why couldn't it have been any of the others instead of Zoro? Why was Zoro the one he killed when he loved Zoro the most?

"I love you…" Luffy felt his body going into shock as he fell to the floor trembling as he remembered Shanks and Ace's words on love 'You always want to protect them and they mean more to you than anything else'. Could he had fallen in love with Zoro over their adventures?

Yes, that was why it was Zoro… he loved Zoro more then he loved his nakama.

"I love you, Zoro…"

He blinked a few times in this dark world, where he was he never would guess but it was peaceful and no one here was going to take him for granted… but… he doubted all of what his mind told him before. He knew his crew and Luffy would never do anything those fears instilled. What was it that made him act so… pathetic and beat?

Luffy's words caught his attention as they screamed for him to hold on and stay… and… sorry? Why? His chest hurt a little as he thought that maybe Luffy didn't hate him as much as he had thought?

Yes. Luffy never could hate his Nakama, but that didn't explain how he had been acting… almost… as if he wasn't Luffy D. Monkey…

"Stupid Devil Fruit Users." He cursed before his mind snapped back to his fight with that swordsman he defeated who claimed that … He would die by the one he loved. He remembered his mind snapping to Luffy's face before he grew enraged and attacked in a nearly blink red.

Could he have been a devil fruit user who could? Yes. It wouldn't be the first time nor the last something like this would happen.

"I'm sorry." Luffy's voice came through clearer. It really was a shame that Luffy didn't understand feelings other than love for his nakama, his lips turned down with regret, and didn't know that his first mate had been harboring his own for the straw wearing teen.

He had talked to Sanji about it every day but… the cook always said he should tell the damn captain.

He should have listened to Sanji instead of avoiding the issue with his training. "I love you, Zoro." His head snapped up to look in every direction for Luffy as a spark of semi hope lingered in his he art. Could Luffy have actually said that to him? No, that is not how he 'felt'. It was Love for a Nakama… Maybe that is why he allowed his spirit to be broken because … because Luffy would never love him? Maybe he admitted it after their fight and Luffy took it wrongly?

He would never… but… he was still enraged by that man… oh god, he did! Luffy knew he loved him and now…

"I'm sorry, Zoro… please come back…" pressure on his chest made his breath freeze and his heart hammer. The smell that assaulted him was Luffy's. The texture of the skin was Luffy's. This was his Luffy.

"Luffy," he coughed out. "I love you." He wanted so deeply to kiss the other boy but knew he was never going to get the chance. This was hell and he would have to live in it every day without the one he loves.

"I love you."

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Chopper pried Luffy away as Zoro began to breath softly but it was still there. He ran the test and checkups before cheering to the crew that Zoro was alive and well.

"Shitty Marimo." Luffy also nodded before turning around and cried silently before stalking off to the boys room to rest. He would need to confront his feelings now more than he ever even knew he would have to. He loved Zoro but it wasn't just as a Nakama anymore. Whatever this boiling feeling in his heart was had began pounding with each step he took harder against the walls of his chest.

This mysterious feeling… was it what Makino said was 'eternal love'?

He thought back and remembered how she described it: warm and fuzzy inside, always want to be near them, always looking after them, and always in your thoughts. Yep, that described his Zoro to a point in his mind.

"EH! I'm in love with Zoro!" he shouted out in the men's room before slapping a hand over his own mouth. "Oh… but… Zoro doesn't like me… I just killed him… he'll hate me…" crying Luffy collapsed at the middle of the room his tears blurring his vision.

"Oi, Luffy." Sanji's voice came at a shock before a strong hug wrapped him up from behind. "This is the only hug you'll get from me, got that, shitty captain." Sanji sounded so sad but relieved. "We know it wasn't you… we know you weren't doing or saying what you did to us or Zoro… but… I want to tell you something that Zoro… that Zoro confined in me a while before this happened…" Luffy, frozen, melted at the words being told to him before he sat, no more tears falling, petrified and broken as Sanji left him with a depressed look on his face.

_Zoro loved you,_ the words played in his mind as he thought on it. Zoro actually did love him before this… could… could he still love Luffy? He would try. That was for sure. He would give it all to fix what he had caused, under the effect of another person or not.


End file.
